I have so so so so much to do! And I can't get organized to do any of it! I need to clean my desk, get ready for tax time, take a ton of stuff to goodwill, make more cards, list more cards, use my new cricut create(!), write papers for school, catch up on my tivo'd shows, buy tickets to Florida for Toni's wedding, find a birthday present for Jonathan, and go to the gym.
Oh, and blog on a semi-regular basis.
And go to work.
There is no time! Actually, I've been thinking and I think there's time. There's 24 hours of time each day. But I need to set my priorities. And then I need to stick with that. Maybe, I need to make a really pretty, frameable poster of my priorities and hang it next to my bed. Because, sometimes, it's really easy to convince myself that Grey's Anatomy is way more important than sleep. Or essays. Or showers.
I went to an ear, nose and throat doctor today, who I was referred to by my neurologist. I never thought I would be someone who said "my" neurologist, but I guess I am. They both think I have sleep apnea, a condition where you stop breathing for short periods of time when you sleep. This causes sufferers to stay in the upper layers of sleep, never getting into the body-and-mind-refreshing REM stages.
My mom was diagnosed with sleep apnea in the late '90s and I remember her scary C-PAP machine that allowed her to stop dozing off inappropriately and took away her fatigue, irritability, and general malaise. I also remember that after the effects of her gastric bypass surgery in 2001, she no longer needed the machine.
The ENT today told me that I need a sleep study to confirm the diagnosis, but the only options to treat sleep apnea are a C-PAP and weight loss. Then she told me a discouraging (and slightly encouraging) study finding; overweight people with sleep apnea have a harder time losing weight than those without. That means that I have a small reason why I never lost weight when I gymmed regularly. That also means I'll have to work even harder than I did then to get this under control.
I've always thought that moderation is key, in diet, exercise and life. I've said this, I've believed it, I've written it. But have I lived it? Probably not. It's time. This year marks the beginning of a new type of lifestyle. Not a new me; I'm me and I'll be me no matter what I weigh. But I can embrace a new lifestyle that leaves me feeling stronger, better rested, healthier, and happier.
This is not a weight-loss blog and I'm barely comfortable saying these words to myself, let alone to the blogosphere. However, in my short time here, I've seen such an amazing community between bloggers, most specifically female ones. I care about the women behind the blogs I read; they have won me over with their wit and humor, their humility and humanity, their stories of dogs and kittens and babies and knitting, of projects made and projects wished. I feel a kinship with the blogging community and therefore I think it will be a smart move for me to post a lifestyle update every now and then, if only for the support I know I can expect from all of you. There's also something to be said for accountability, and how much more accountable can I be than telling the whole world (in theory) that I have a goal?
To lighten up this real-life post and to leave you with a smile, I present you with this picture of Oliver on Jonathan's lap last night.
Behold the leopard belly mew!