Dear all friends who are currently in relationships,
I don't understand you.
I don't know if I can ever be you. Some days, I really want to be you - all cuddly and smooshy and moving forward with your life plans-y.
But other days, I look at you making these huge compromises. And I think...I could never do that. I mean, I've been in relationships. Long-term ones! But I don't think I ever was that person who gave herself so completely to anyone that she lost HERSELF. I've always been Katie. Not KatieandVictor or KatieandPercy or -- you can tell I'm making up these names, right?
This weekend, I saw a friend who doesn't hang out with us very often and I asked if he was attending a birthday party the following day. His response: "Not sure, gotta see what the boss [i.e. his wife] is doing." I almost died. I mean, WHAT?! If I want to go to a party, I'll go to a party. And in this case, the birthday boy was a very good friend of his, like groomsmen at each other's weddings sort of good friend. I couldn't comprehend the maybe.
Now, I understand the glow of new love. And I understand checking with your spouse to see if they're already making dinner before you make plans to go out to happy hour. But I don't understand this whole concept of not doing something unless your partner wants to.
Did you all lose your identities?! I am a person who likes to go to farmers' markets. If I were dating a boy who didn't (god forbid), should I stop going because we can only do things together?
Um, that answer is no, by the way. NO. I should keep going - with boyfriend, or without boyfriend. His preferences don't change MY preferences.
I know that relationships come in all sizes - and that every couple has their own way of communicating. But I so strongly believe that you should not give away your decision-making power. And you should not give up your likes and dislikes. And you should have some things that you maybe even do by yourself.
And maybe...this is why I'm single.